Hi, I'm Lisa
I grew up in an unstable family home, life was hard. It felt extremely stressful and more often than not I felt lonely and isolated. I would flit between knowing that the way I was being treated was not quite right, to, feeling like I deserved it, because I was a bad person inside.
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My parents were so wrapped up in their own struggles, that they failed to see the impact this had on us. I never felt like there was anybody there for me, anybody to help me navigate through my teen years.
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And with a mother whose mental wellbeing declined I felt a responsibility for my younger siblings, even briefly becoming their sole carer when I was just 18 and the next few years were a mix of trying to start my life and caring for my siblings over the weekends.
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However I was determined to not let the start in life define me and it gave me a fire in my belly to really achieve something, which started with securing a job at Virgin Atlantic when I was 22.
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My life did start to change when i met my now husband Edward but trauma was still ensconced in my life. I was scared of what else I was going to have to deal with. I felt sad & I felt confused. I always worked hard on being a nice person, a kind person. I liked people and I wanted people to like me. I started to recognise that something I was doing was attracting this behaviour from other people. I started having private counselling, the woman was amazing but I didn’t want to talk about what had happened to me, I wanted strategies, skills, gumption to make a change so that I could identify & stop these patterns that kept happening in my life.
"I remember when we first met & you told me my life would change so much & I'll be honest, I didn't really believe you at first. But bloody hell man, you were so right!"
Then I had my turning point following a purely by chance meeting onboard a flight with a hypnotherapist
This was a total chance meeting but it felt like it was a gift for me. I needed help and I was ready to let go of my past and this gentleman had appeared at a time when I was so desperate. I begged him to help me and he kindly did some work with me, that I recognise now as self esteem work. It was literally life changing and when I returned to the UK I sought out another therapist to continue my journey.
What happened to me was a radical transformation. Literally a huge massive transformation. I recognised so many things. How I had zero boundaries, how I pleased people and how that was making me everyone’s door mat. And how the answer was not to be nicer, kinder & to give more – but to STOP being kinder, nicer & absolutely to STOP giving to these people. How to communicate the things that I wanted & needed. How to set boundaries & how to uphold them. How to honour myself & to value the person that I was. I discovered I had the power to change things in situations where I once felt so powerless.
This began my journey towards helping others with what I had learned, I trained in hypnotherapy and during this process I began to coach friends and friends of friends and I fell in love. I fell in love with the feeling that these women who were like I was, were turning into who I was now & I knew how much power that was going to give them, I saw how much power it was giving them over their lives & their new future pathway. And didn’t they deserve to have the impact of trauma undone?
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Women would leave their abusive relationships, put distance in between themselves & those toxic people in their lives, one lady I saw actually dropped SIX stone in 6 months - that extra 6 stone that she was carrying was a symptom from her past childhood trauma. She then went on to leave her job & pursue a lifelong dream working for the ambulance service AND she even left her marriage, because who she felt she was worthy of being with prior to our work changed dramatically. Just to have some context she had grown up with an abusively alcoholic mother in childhood.
"...I said the only thing that has helped is Lisa! You're such a beautiful & amazing soul & I can't thank you enough for how much you've helped me already."
I had found my mission in this work
I teach people to set healthy mental, physical and relational boundaries which gives them back control of their lives. I also get to grips with how to resolve conflict and assertively make decisions.
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The problems that I solve are things like depression, anxiety, people having troubles within their relationships. One of the common denominators out of all of my clients is rock bottom self-esteem. They do not boundary set, avoid conflict, people please, put themselves last, get bullied, think the problem is them and they pick poor unequal relationships as a result. All my clients have suffered trauma in childhood. They all feel miserable, sad, trapped, powerless, down trodden. BUT They are all BEAUTIFUL people with huge big hearts.